unconditional love

My grandmother is moving back to Korea sometime next month. This is another huge thing in my life that is out of my control and really hard to deal with. For those of you who don’t know, my grandmother raised me when I was little. My mother and father both worked a lot when I was little. No, I’m not bitter about it; their hard work made my life easier and I am thankful for that.

My relationship with my grandmother is interesting. She was born in Korea in 1919 and came here when I was born. She doesn’t know much English and well, me being the bad Korean kid, don’t know much Korean either. But somehow, she always knew what I wanted and how to make me better. I remember sitting and watching animals run around in the back yard from our sunroom and we would tell each other the names of them in our own languages. She’d make me soup and food when I was sick or hungry. Unfortunately, when I was little I didn’t really appreciate my grandmother as much as I should have. I loved her but I was a brat at times.

As I grew older, I really saw how genuine my grandmother’s love for me truly is. She never asked me for anything…well, other than to open a couple jars, pick up a bag of rice or something like that. But she would always do anything to make me happy. If only everyone could be so selfless, the world would be amazing. But anywho, my grandmother is an amazing person who I am going to miss dearly. Hopefully I will get to see her after she moves back but I still worry. Like I said, she was born in 1919; she turns 90 this year. While for a 90 year old she moves around quite well and is “active” she is still a 90 year old. Over the past couple years, I lost my other grandmother and then my grandfather this past year.

I always wanted her to see me graduate, get a good job and even find the special someone for me at least, if not get married and have a family. But, it doesn’t seem as though the latter will happen. The next couple weekends will consist of me spending as much time as I can with my grandmother. A lot of things in my life are bringing me down and this is one of them. I just hope my grandma knows how much I love and care about her and how thankful I am of everything she has done for me even if it was never any one “big thing.” Like I always say, be thankful of the little things people do, they are what show that one truly cares.

Thanks for listening to me rant on. There will be another sappy blog here shortly. I just got my disassembler pipeline component in the toolbox of Visual Studio and dragged it into my orchestration so I am taking a break. I would practice guitar more if Eddie wasn’t fast asleep. I’d hate to wake him up.

PS: It was good seeing everyone at homecoming. I hope everyone had a safe return to wherever they came. See you guys again soon I hope!

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